red-haired girls need to stop being beautiful and selling me records and making me fall in love with them.
two cats!
for: fuck’s sake.
I try to live in the present.
I tried to live in the past, then the future.
then I ran out of salvia.
dear rosemary,
we’ve seen your recommendation letters scattered across our coffee shops, which predate most of us by a few years.
we’ve also seen your public urinations.
we get it.
-columbustown
Sometimes I think the nights where I’m charming are becoming further and further apart.
I’m worried about the state of humanity.
way to become a successful, quirky webcomic artist:
1. become inebriated. decide to become webcomic artist.
2. tell four or five of your friends that you are now a webcomic artist.
3. become inebriated.
4. write webcomic.
5. become inebriated.
6. debate alternate facial-hair arrangements.
7. fall in love, fall out of love. learn to do this quickly.
8. re-embrace john hughes, listen to more talking heads and 80’s revival bands.
9. consider wearing tights.
10. write sad, slow, bitter songs that you hope can encapsulate the whole of your romantic shortcomings, yet seem increasingly and increasingly more like tripe and pale emulations of romantic tropes with which you were overly saturated in the melodramatic 80s.
11. wonder if you have lost your entire grasp of the english language.
12. become inebriated.
13. consider how simple life can be if you make it.
14. stars are nice, sometimes.
15. perhaps you should eat more broccoli; I know I should.
16. it would be nice if more people biked.
17. everyone should just try to be a little nicer.
18. people should relax a bit more. nothing we can accomplish in our respective lifetimes will have any lasting effect on existence or the universe or even our own ecosystem, much less the humans around us. we are simply a species of write-offs, as all species on this wonderful, miserable oblate spheroid of a rock that we choose to find warmth and shelter in. thus, we should rejoice, and find joy in every moment we are allowed to waste, as we will not be harming too much, and we might be able to enjoy a minute or two here.
19. write more webcomics.
20. become inebriated.
21. continue to not sleep with those of the opposite sex.
roughly 83% of the time, having roommates is great.
some people wonder why I have trouble writing songs.
remember how we would spend hours on end, hopped up on surge and mountain dew, just waiting for that one brief second of nirvana, where the scrambled station cleared up just enough to catch one breast? we lived for those moments. they were pure, they were life affirming. they were absolutley beautiful.
and then that fucker todd always had to pipe up and say something like “nu uh it wasn’t a boob it was a coaster” or something stupid like that and then we would have to debate the fucking thing until it wasn’t even about breasts or girls anymore but it was about how tom always waited until the double rounds of MKII to put his fucking quarter in and then we would have to go all the way back to the beginning and one of us would end up punching someone else and we would eventually wake up aaron’s mom and dirty and breathless and sniveling we would have difficulty explaining how it all started but she would be chain smoking and yelling too loud to hear us anyway.
I mean, we weren’t even her kids for crissakes.
